I've just ran head first into temper tantrum land. Recently we battled to leave the house. She was unimpressed with her outfit, and by unimpressed I mean raging on the floor screaming for her pink pants which was confusing because she had her pink pants on. But they were the wrong pink pants. I have peace on my mind, but it was justice I was thinking about in that moment.
What does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8
I lean toward 'fairness' in umpiring sibling/cousin/playmate debates. I'm more comfortable with justice then mercy. I tout turns like they're the answer to household woes. I noticed lately that this isn't every mothers go-to strategy. I know a mom who is raising the 3 most exceptionally kind children I've ever met. Recently, on a joint family outing, I noted that when it came to bickering about music or the how to best share the sole water bottle in the vehicle - she promoted peace. While I was busy devising a fair dispute settling strategy she'd already dealt with it by asking one to give in to the other. How does she make this decision? I couldn't quite figure it out.
She is gentle, and they obey her. She has taught them to keep the peace. That sometimes it's okay to give in, fair or not, for the sake of another. In the process she's teaching her children to love, to put another ahead of themselves, to sacrifice what won't really hurt that much. She's a good mom. I could do with adding her peace-making tool to my kit.
After sitting on the question for awhile, how does she decide?, I think I've figured it out. She decides based on who seems to care more. Whoever cares most, wins.
I gravitate toward the justice side, but I've felt God moving me in the direction of gentleness. This means being slower to speak. Choosing my words carefully (difficult for an extrovert), and taking opportunities to sacrifice when it doesn't really matter. Teaching her to stand up for justice will come more naturally to me. Today, I commit to promote peace in our home. To teach a way of sacrifice when the sacrifice means more to someone else.