Tim and I bickered the other day. I got quiet. An effectively irritating passive aggressive stance. Not really helpful in reaching a resolution, but it drives him crazy. He'd much rather have it out then face my silence. He's not comfortable with silence.
half an hour later he said "why are you mad at me?!"
Me: "I'm not mad, I'm sad"
Tim: "Well don't be. Don't be sad at me."
and I laughed. "Okay, I won't be sad at you."
Just like that, I think we found our key to unlock the passive aggressive silent stalemate. "Don't be sad at me." Man, I like him. He's so easy to fight with. You know you've made it somewhere in your marriage when you figure out how to bicker effectively.